


a place and a name

by figureskaterbitty (gabsgen)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 'Swawesome Santa 2018, Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 07:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17116868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsgen/pseuds/figureskaterbitty
Summary: And so she became Lardo, and the closest to her true self she's ever been.'Swawesome Santa 2018 gift for Betweenthepies





	a place and a name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Betweenthepies (Reikiari)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reikiari/gifts).



> It turned into more of a rambling and disconnected character study than a fic, but LARDO CONTENT. I hope you like it Betweenthepies!!! (Honestly I almost scrapped the whole thing but I'm glad I kept with it)
> 
> For the third year in a row my wonderful qp agreed to beta and let me yell at her about omgcp when she knows nothing about it thanks babe I love you

The boys make for good subjects, she thinks. Good general inspiration too. She wants her art to be out of the box, subversive, something people wouldn't expect from a quiet(HA) young woman like her. The boys being unapologetically themselves goes a long way in helping to achieve that. Lardo wants her art to prove _something_ , even if she's not sure exactly what.

She should probably get that figured out.

But then she wouldn't be _Lardo_ , she would be _Larissa_ , the one that follows logic and orders and a straight path without any thought to what she herself wants. She much prefers being Lardo.

So she continues on her own path, with all the twists and turns and all-nighters and nights with Shitty that the path entails. So she keeps looking to these dumb hockey bros she loves for inspiration and comfort and the ability to be herself that she never really had before Samwell.

Jack is her brother, and gives the best hugs. Holster and Ransom are her partners in crime, and are always great for a laugh or time to just chill. Bitty is one of her best friends and for once she gets to be the shoulder to lean on. Shitty is...well he's a lot of things and trying to think too much about it gives Lardo a headache. The frogs are the proteges, the disciples, the next generation that she gets to help mold and guide into being the ones to continue the comradery and acceptance of Samwell Men's Hockey.

She puts all of these thoughts and feelings into her art, even if no one except her can see or understand it. She doesn't do portraits; that would be too easy and not meaningful enough to show what the team has really meant to her and taught her over the years.

Instead she paints breasts to show that femininity is accepted and celebrated here, that she doesn't get treated differently because she's a woman. Instead she spends all night bedazzling old hockey gear, to prove that someone can be a macho male jock and still have fun with traditionally girly things and fucking OWN IT. Instead she creates art installations that no one understands(even herself, honestly) because she knows the boys will have her back no matter what, and still show interest in her talents.

She doesn't need to hide or put aside any part of herself to also be her pseudo hockey bro self. She can be an artist and still be the badass that beat Kent Parson in beer pong. She can be a woman and still have a whole team of tall, buff men held under her heel. She can love cute little yellow ducklings and still have said men terrified of angering her because her power over them is only slightly less than that of their coaches.

...She thinks back to before Samwell, back to when she was still Larissa. Larissa Duan, no nickname, when she had to be herself in secret places and never in front of her parents. When art was an acceptable hobby, but definitely not a career. When she was quiet and poised and got perfect grades, the epitome of a perfect daughter and even more perfect young lady. When she wasn't entirely sure who she was herself, stifled by society and expectations to the point she could never truly open up to even her friends.

And then she found Samwell. A college that talked the talk and actually walked the walk when it came to their promises of acceptance, and opportunities, and a place for people like her to find themselves. The pretty nice art degree was a bonus.

She found her first community in the artists. The ones who projected an air of mysterious moodiness to the campus but when alone together roasted each other about drawing anime and bemoaned figuring out hands. She was comfortable there, ensconced in the comfort and warmth of the quote unquote “misunderstood” people who were taking this chance to do what they wanted. She was still Larissa there, but it was a different Larissa than she used to be; a Larissa that could be loud(er) and open and accepted for who she and her dreams were. She didn't have to hide there, and she loved it.

Then she found the hockey team. Or, really, they found her. She's not entirely sure anymore how they officially met. It could've been that time Johnson stopped to help her pick up the pile of art history books she had dropped, cryptic message and all. It could've been that time she stumbled across a high as fuck Shitty at the Pond and he yelled about loving her shoes as she passed. But it was probably that time at the library, when the boys were being their loud ass selves and Jack Zimmerman was going around to every table apologizing sheepishly about the noise. She remembers laughing it off and actually having a conversation with Jack. It was short, but it happened.

And he mentioned that the coaches were thinking of hiring a team manager that year(the team was a rowdier group than usual and needed the extra supervision). And it got her thinking.

She wanted to be like that, unapologetically herself and as loud as she wanted whenever she wanted. The pay would be appreciated as well, since she couldn't be a TA yet. Plus she was really good at organization, what with her pre-Samwell life being the way it was. But mostly, and most importantly, that group of guys seemed like a place where anyone could find themselves and face no rejection.

She wanted that.

So Larissa Duan 2.0 dotted her i's and crossed her t's and put in the application to manage rowdy bros playing a sport she knew next to nothing about. And she got in. And those rowdy hockey bros loved her. Her tentative(at that time) fieryness and no bullshit allowed attitude were automatically welcomed to the team and the Haus with open arms, and now she even has the name to prove it.

And so she became Lardo, and the closest to her true self she's ever been.


End file.
